Listening To Your Body: Still In A Hurry— Even In San Miguel?

By Richard Adelman, M. A.

Do you feel as though you are always in a rush? “The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get” is a common experience—even here in San Miguel. Time pressure is not inevitable and does not come from nowhere. It can come from your self-image: thinking of yourself as someone who can or ought to be able to accomplish certain things, regardless of your actual age or ability. Many try to pretend that they are younger than they are. They expect themselves to be able to walk, exercise, eat, drink, or make love in the rhythm of a younger person. Perhaps they never treated their body well. Eventually, as the philosopher Martin Buber warned, “the body bites back.”

When I began to visit San Miguel in the year 2000 I was surprised to observe the amount of time pressure under which many expatriates were living, even retired people. For some reason, some people feel obligated to fulfill an impossible number of social demands. Having come to México to escape the rat race and have a more leisurely life style, they find themselves constantly over-scheduled.

There is “always something to do” in San Miguel and they may not have learned how to say “no.” As a Somatic Psychologist and Body Awareness Teacher I believe a mature person needs to be able to set boundaries to protect and nurture his individuation process. Occasionally I have the image that, for some, living in San Miguel is a bit like returning to high school. Another problem is the great length of time (by US or Canadian standards) it can take to get ANYTHING accomplished in México. This can be a source of continual amazement and chagrin, especially when it involves any kind of bureaucratic procedure. (An article in The News, the México City-based English-language paper, quoted a study saying that México was number three in the world in the percentage of time businesses had to devote to bureacratic matters required by the government: around 20%!)

Almost everyone has his own personal horror stories ranging from problems with immigracion, the internet, phone, gas or electric companies, home construction or repairs...

It can seem like everything involving more than one person becomes a long-drawn-out bureaucratic procedure, in which there are different cultural attitudes toward time and the whole idea of getting things done, and there are frequent linguistic misunderstandings, not to speak of the complexity of feelings between Mexicans and North Americans.

Nevertheless, there are many redeeming things we could say about all this.

First, regardless of a person´s motives for moving to San Miguel, it might help him to acknowledge that he has ventured into the unknown—maybe more unknown than he expected.

Perhaps he had unrealistic expectations, and found himself in way over his head. In any case, he deserves credit for whatever coping efforts he is able to make. He could rightfully feel proud and inspired simply by his own ability to persist.

A second bright light in the situation is the natural sociability and politeness of Mexicans, including toward foreigners. Combined with the wonderful, life-sustaining climate and the abundant physical and architectural beauty of San Miguel and sense of community among the expats, there is a lot here to nourish and support people.

And third, feeling pressured and hurried is not just mental. It comes from a body attitude or posture that a person unknowingly constructs. If he is feeling pressured, he probably IS pressured—and by himself. He may be unconsciously and habitually tensing and constricting himself, cramping his inner space.

A person who gets in touch with his own body pattern of self-pressure can learn to reduce its intensity and generate a more friendly environment inside his body, with more living and breathing space. For instance, in the 1990s one of my Berkeley, California patients, Corey Fischer, a Founding Member of the Traveling Jewish Theatre, commented that “Richard´s hands-on work gives me a sense of spaciousness, enabling me to feel more deeply my own body (as well as eliminating my shoulder pain).”

An Unexpected Benefit Of Slowing Down Is Decreasing Your Chances Of Falling!

I continue to help people to find their personal rhythm and live more comfortably in their bodies through gentle hands-on Feldenkrais therapy, Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement Group Classes, and Pilates Suave for Seniors.

Richard Adelman (M. A. Psychology) is a Feldenkrais Practitioner and Pilates Teacher in private and group practice.

415 197 7895 WhatsApp   richardadelman@gmail.com