Atención Vibrant Living: Remembering With Love, Living With Gratitude

By Carla Maria Pérez

In early November, San Miguel fills with marigolds, candles, photographs, music, and the scent of incense and pan de muerto. Día de Muertos invites us to pause, not to dwell on death, but to honor people we love and the lives they lived.

For many of us raised in Western cultures, there is no comparable, widely shared tradition. We may hold funerals, visit graves, or keep a photograph on a shelf, but we are often encouraged to move on quickly and keep grief private. Día de Muertos offers another perspective: a time when remembering can be joyful, tender, communal, and full of life.

This is not “Mexican Halloween,” nor is it simply a celebration of death. Rooted in Indigenous Mexican traditions, Día de Muertos honors deceased loved ones and the continuing bonds families feel with them. It is not necessary to share a particular religious belief, or to believe in an afterlife, to understand the human value of remembrance. The tradition can remind us that love, influence, and memory do not disappear simply because a person is no longer physically present.

A central tradition is the ofrenda, an offering or home altar created in a loved one’s honor. Families may include photographs, candles, bright cempasúchil marigolds, water, favorite foods or drinks, and meaningful objects. The details vary from family to family and region to region. At its heart, an ofrenda is a loving act of welcome and remembrance: a way of saying, “You are not forgotten. You still belong in our story.”

As guests in Mexico, we can appreciate these traditions with respect rather than try to claim them as our own. We can also let them encourage a practice many of us need: remembering the people who shaped us and carrying forward what was life-giving in them. I loved the film Coco for the way it brought these themes to life. If you haven’t seen it, or feel like watching it again, it’s a moving invitation to reflect on family, memory, and the stories we carry forward.

Who taught you to cook, laugh at yourself, keep going, or notice beauty? What kindness, courage, humor, or wisdom do you still recognize in yourself because someone offered it to you? These are not small things. They are part of our inheritance. I can still hear my maternal grandmother singing duets with her beloved Pachito, the one-eyed green parrot who had been part of the family for years, and the laughter we shared.

I remember, too, watching my grandfather pour his five o’clock Chivas on the rocks and settle into his chair, quietly savoring each sip. I would watch him and wonder what was on his mind. To this day, I can picture him there, glass in hand, lost in thought.

Remembering can contribute to wellness. It invites reflection, gratitude, and connection. It gives us a chance to share stories with friends and family, to feel rooted in the lives that came before ours, and to see our own lives as part of something larger. For some, remembrance may include faith and prayer; for others, it may mean simply honoring a relationship and the good it brought into the world. Both can be meaningful.

This November, take a little time to remember someone you love. You need not create an ofrenda to participate respectfully in the spirit of remembrance. Make their favorite meal. Tell a story about them. Play a song they loved. Write down a lesson they gave you. Visit a place that was meaningful to both of you, or take a small trip that helps you feel connected to a shared memory. These small acts can turn loss into gratitude and keep love active in the life you are living now.

In honoring those who came before us, we may notice something hopeful: their influence still moves through our choices, our families, and our communities. What we remember, we carry forward.

Tiny assignments for the next two weeks:

• Share a story about someone you miss and something they taught you.

• Make or write down a cherished recipe to pass along.

• Reach out to someone who shares your memories and invite them to add their own.

Let remembrance be an act of gratitude, a way of keeping love present in your life. This Día de Muertos, let that spirit inspire a personal tradition that reflects your beliefs, honors its Mexican roots, and deepens your connection to the country you now call home.

Carla Maria Perez promotes lasting wellness for adults 55+.

She designs bespoke journeys worldwide and provides tailored fitness and nutrition guidance.

foratravel.com/advisor/carla-perez

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