Atención: Interactions. The Uber Paradox, San Miguel Edition

By Lisa Babincsak

Is it just me, or does ordering an Uber in San Miguel require a kind of faith normally reserved for organized religion?

Your driver is five minutes away.

This is the last true thing the app will tell you.

Four minutes later, he is nine minutes away. You watch the tiny car move confidently in the opposite direction, gaining distance with the serene certainty of a man who knows exactly where he is going, and it is not toward you. Nine becomes twelve. Then: Your driver has canceled.

You begin again.

Eventually someone arrives, and this is where the story turns, because he is wonderful. You talk. He tells you about his family. You tell him how long you’ve lived here. By the time you reach your destination, you have covered traffic, real estate, the weather, the economy, and his cousin’s wedding, and he hands you his card.

“Next time, call me directly.”

This feels like victory. You have beaten the system. You now have a guy.

Except you have many guys. Somewhere in your house is a small collection of business cards belonging to perfectly lovely drivers you fully intended to call again, and you have absolutely no idea who any of them are. Was Carlos the funny one? Was José the one with the immaculate Nissan? Was Luis the one who offered to drive you to Querétaro?

You stare at the cards, hoping one will trigger a memory.

Nothing.

Say you get brave. Say you pick one and call. Miraculously, he remembers you. He would be delighted to drive you. Thursday.

It is Monday.

Because this is the part no one warns you about: the direct line does not summon a car. It summons a relationship — a warm, long-lead-time relationship with a man you cannot identify — and you needed to leave twenty minutes ago.

So you are left choosing between planning a week in advance and pure chance. There is no middle setting. There is no button for simply leaving your house at a reasonable hour.

You put the cards back where you found them.

You open Uber.

A driver accepts.

Your driver is five minutes away.

And because you have learned absolutely nothing, you believe it.